My boss' voice literally gives me gas
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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