I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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