Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
You're like the curious george of whores
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
