She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize