hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize