woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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