the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
