problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
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Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
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this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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