After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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