I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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