oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
