If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
