so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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