Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window