he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Randomize
