So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
