Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
