Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
