This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
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If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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