I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I love you.
Bad choice
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize