areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
