Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I want to have your abortion
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
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Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
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I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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