I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize