sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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