Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We're not piercing ourselves today.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
