Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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