I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
