just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Randomize
