it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
