It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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