when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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