His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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