Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Randomize
