i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
