Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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