There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
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do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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