Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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