just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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