i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize