Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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