Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Randomize
