Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
