i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You made out with two different species that night
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
