listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
