I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
