I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
BRING THE BAGELS
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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