she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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