he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
