these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
where does the pee come out of this thing
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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