Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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