just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
