Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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