I look better un-naked...
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
All I want is dick and wine.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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