Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
