He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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