I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
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